The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:



40-ish..............................49

Adventurous....................Slept with everyone

Athletic.............................No tits

Average looking...............Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..............Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure............On medication

Feminist............................Fat

Free spirit..........................Junkie

Friendship first..................Former slut

Fun....................................Annoying

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned....................No BJs

Open-minded.....................Desperate

Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate........................Sloppy drunk

Professional.......................Bitch

Voluptuous........................Very Fat

Large frame.......................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate...............Stalker



WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?



MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you